Lord von Schmitt wandered the planet in search of intelligent life for years, before learning to knit. After 7 years at the needles--he barely did anything else--Lord von Schmitt flashed on the possibilities of Previously Crocheted Objects. These were everywhere in the form of afghan blankets, languishing forgotten in thrift stores. He put down the needles and never picked them up again. With a sewing machine he could move much faster, with scissors he could build forms, the material was wonderful and flexible and repulsive. An old lady came up to him and said "those are the most hideous pants I've ever seen in my life," to which he replied, "oh thanks. I made them myself."